Like so many others, I’ve found that my weight is a very tough opponent.
I struggle and struggle, I succeed and I fail. It seems like it’s always one step forward and two back.
One of my favorite photographers (well, photographer teams) is Bobbi and Mike. Well, somehow I came across this guy doing what he called a public humiliation diet through Bobbi, her facebook or twitter or something. Anyway, the public humiliation diet is basically a daily weight check-in in front of everyone online. If you do well everyone knows it and if you don’t everyone knows that as well. The idea being that the public humiliation of having to post that you didn’t do well is enough to force you to do well.
I don’t think that I’m quite ready for that. So I’m starting to journal things here, in a private area of my website, for myself. Maybe someday in the future I’ll share with the world.
Ok, back to today. I’ve recently had what I think is a pretty big breakthrough in my journey. You see, one of my biggest obstacles is what I’m going to do in the future. Close your eyes and be me for a second. I’m innocently working away and all of a sudden my nose is tickled with the most delightful smell. I follow this decadent scent into the kitchen where I find that the cookie fairy has left a huge pile of warm, fresh, chewy chocolate chip cookies for the enjoyment of those who happen to drift their way. Naturally, I think if I have one of these, I’ll be right back on track immediately afterward and just this one little indulgence won’t even matter in the grand scheme of things. So, I’m using this idea of what I will do in the future to avoid making that hard decision right now. The biggest problem with this thinking is that now never seems to end, and the future never seems to come. Gosh, it’s been a long day and I really don’t feel like making supper so I’ll just run and get some take out – just this one meal is not going to matter. Or it’s a really special occasion and just this one time won’t make a difference. Or, Matt brought home this bag of chips, I’ll just have some for now and then they won’t be around to tempt me – it’s just this once.
And if I actually happen into a different thought process it goes something like this: well, I know that we’re going to be out of town this weekend and there’s no way I’ll stay on plan, so I might as well not even worry about it until we get back. Oh yeah, that sounds familiar doesn’t it?!
Either way, I’m letting the idea of what’s going to happen in the future keep me from succeeding right now. Funny thing is the idea of what will happen in the future doesn’t ever seem to make me stay on track. I never say to myself I’m going to have a heart attack, or get diabetes, or die… so I’m going to have steamed broccoli for dinner. Or, I’m not going to fit in any of my clothes in the future, so I’ll pass on the cookies and have a salad instead. It’s amazing how that works.
Didn’t I say something about a breakthrough? Ah yes, I did. My breakthrough is this – this is the only decision that matters. Every time I get tempted to go off plan, I just say that to myself This is the only decision that matters. It doesn’t matter what’s coming in the future, good or bad. This, right here right now, is all that matters.
This decision, this hard decision right here is the only one that matters.